detached

why must i? they frowned at me and questioned my decision. they told me i should give in and at least try to make things better. no, i do not want to. she was about to raise her hand and he was close to slamming the door at me.

why must i? they still could not understand me. she tried to talk me into again but i walked away. he, just gave up on me.

why must i? they did not even bother to try and ask because they knew i wont listen.

i had stopped making wishes a long time ago because i knew it was a trick to make children believe that miracles do happen. i no longer hold any hope in it. i thought i could live each day like a shadow but i did not know it could hurt and make my heart bleed so badly on a night like this. i did not want to be involved but why did i still know of it?

i knew things will turn out to be in this way on the very day it happened. is avoiding it my fault at all? i just do not want to have any unnecessary conflicts. or maybe it is just an excuse for running away and not facing up to the real problem? up till this very day, i still cannot figure out why it happened? it changed my entire life completely and it had turned me into someone who i do not recognize. all i need is fair treatment. is it really that hard to find it here?

i do not want to be involved in anything anymore. i refuse to give it all. because i know it will hurt when things start to fall apart and miracles do not happen anymore. why bother to put myself through the painful experience when i know it is a dead end ahead. i do not want to feel.